By Nathan Tureck

Published by and reprinted from The Baltimore Sun (Commentary) – September 2, 2026

I am the worst soccer referee in the world.

That’s according to a middle-aged soccer mom on a hot Saturday morning, leaning back in her folding chair, holding a giant iced coffee and clearly upset that I called a foul on her 12-year-old daughter. To her, I am the ultimate embodiment of evil — a blind official standing directly between her child and a Division I scholarship. To me, I am just a teenager trying to maintain order in a game that I love.

“You suck, ref!”

Screaming coaches, I can understand; they are in the heat of the match, managing tactics and fighting for every competitive edge. But abuse from parents is a far more peculiar phenomenon. There is a strange, collective amnesia that occurs on Saturday mornings, where otherwise rational adults feel completely empowered to scream vitriol at a teenager — frequently someone the exact same age as their own kid sitting on the bench. Over the past two years, I have been called every name in the book, had my intelligence publicly questioned and been the relentless target of angry insults and petty taunts.

“Forget your glasses today, ref?”

After playing soccer for most of my life, I earned my referee certification two years ago, eager to learn a new perspective and earn some extra pocket money. However, stepping out onto the field with a whistle instead of cleats shifted my entire reality. I quickly realized that the parents screaming about a marginal throw-in or an offside call weren’t actually angry about the calls themselves; they were reacting to their own intense emotional investment. They were projecting the frustration of paying thousands of dollars a year in club fees, only to watch their child get stuck on the third-tier roster. They were watching their long-shot dreams of athletic recruitment vanish with every misplaced pass. Most of all, high-powered professionals who manage law firms and government agencies during the week suddenly found themselves having to submit to the authoritative decisions of a teenager in a bright-green jersey.

What these spectators fail to realize in the heat of the moment, however, is the long-term impact of their sideline behavior. Referee abuse isn’t just unpleasant; it is actively destroying the sport from the ground up. Continuous verbal assault directly leads to a drastic drop in the number of referees willing to take the field. Every weekend, young officials quit, deciding that $30 a game isn’t worth being verbally harassed by aggressive adults. You cannot have a game without an official, yet the unrelenting toxicity is driving away the very people willing to blow the whistle.

The pressure put on youth officials ignores a basic fact: Refereeing is a skill that takes years to master, just like playing the game itself. Expecting a teenage referee to call a youth match with the perfection of a FIFA official is as absurd as expecting a 12-year old player to play like Lionel Messi. Mistakes will happen on both sides of the line. A player will misplace a pass, a forward will miss an open net and a referee will occasionally misjudge a shoulder tackle. Yet, while a young player is met with encouraging claps and chants of “unlucky!”, a young referee making a similar error is met with personal attacks and aggressive taunts.

“That’s offsides ref!”

With the fall soccer season rapidly approaching, I am imploring parents to take a step back and think before they scream. Before you yell, remember that the person in the referee jersey is someone’s child, trying their best to manage 22 competitive kids on a field. Remember that without them, the game simply does not happen. Take a sip of your iced coffee, support your child and let the referees ref.

And by the way, it’s “offside,” not “offsides.”

Nathan Tureck is a 17-year-old from Bethesda and a certified referee.